This is what it has come to

all hail the following email conversation. i won't post the gchat conversations that are going on. that's just private man. more to come i'm sure.
updated: 4 time(s).
added times and edited intro
added my response

mabeuf to us (9:24pm):
So I am willing to admit that I was just watching The Hills in order to pronounce the death of our beloved Alkaline Trio. They were just featured on the show when one of the girls helped them schedule a recording session for their new CD.

Please act accordingly gentlemen.

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me to us(9:21am):

the jury is out on you max.
pending a man law investigation.
dru says:
"i blame his viewership for the downfall of one of my fav bands"
what say you others?
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max to us again(9:44am):

Also I promise that Brian was watching this as well, no way in hell he was not.

Beuf
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dru to us (emphatically)(10:59am):

Gentlemen, it appears we have a crisis on our hands. Mabeuf Croes, our dear friend, needs an intervention to stop the blatant lack of respect for quality manshows. I, like most of you, overlooked the farcicle plot of Gilmore Girls instead focusing on the uberhottness of the characters and the "to clever to ever happen in real life" banter. We all thought that no harm could come from the production of such a (seemingly) innocent show, and therefor allowed max to double the neilson ratings, flood message boards, and download every episode for months if not years. In the same vein most of us have endured through one of his favorite movies "Mean Girls", based solely on his biased suggestions. Once again a smoking hot cast of characters blinded us to the total lack of Man-Merit anywhere in the 2 hellish hours it took to end. But, as fellow deviants, no one wanted to cast the first stone so once again, no harm, no foul.

This carefree hippy attitude stops now.

Alkaline Trio, joyous benefactors, have been bestowing gifts upon the mortal race for neigh a decade, blessing us with such ambrosia as "Clavicle" "cop" ...(edited for time)... "every thug needs a lady" and "blue in the face" to name a few. Part of the mystery of their greatness was derived from the staunch antipopculture that makes their legacy still burn angstily (i can make up words too brian, labia) in our hearts.

To quote the raven, Nevermore.

The clear parallel between mabeufs decent into littlegirldom and a3's fall from grace into primetime pop culturedom can no longer be ignored. Lest we forget we are talking about a band that, no matter the date or location will let any fan with an a3 tattoo in the show for free. This isnt a commercial endeavor, for the altruistic members of our beloved a3 simply want to please their fans... fans like mabeuf croes. Had the foundation of their fan base stayed firm against the growing tide of television designed for preteen girls, there is a strong possibility that the band would have rejected any collaborations with the show instantly.

Yet we sit here today as stupified as if max bemis decided to collaborate with Disturbed.

Is there someone to blame? yes

Is that what we are going to do? no

it is not mabeufs fault that he is a little girl, and in a metephoric way im sure that we have all been there; or whatever. As penance i suggest the most drastic strategy that popped into my head since ive been writing this email, 1 month of nothing but hunting and fishing shows, along with weekly 'check ins' where he texts us pics of his most recent high scores at Big-Game-Deer-Hunter.

Its not going to bring back the a3 that we respect, admire, and sometimes pretend we are when sleeping with seans mom/sister, But it may be enough of a shock statement to the underground music scene so that the younger generation of rockers never has to endure what we have.

respectfuly,

MyballsYourface
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max to us(11:04):

I had the wrong Daniel on this. Changed that.
Others, please file your complaints. Dru's message has really struck a cord with me and I look forward to your insights.
Beuf
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me to us(11:42):

I'll have all you fuckers know that Janette/Josephine Bibby are saints. Janice "More" Moore on the other hand can continue to lick balls for a living.

Onto more pressing matters, I want to add my 2 cents to this conversation. I found a little thing called wikipedia and I used a 10 foot pole to type in "the hills". Upon reading the first line I threw up in my mouth a lot. The first line references "laguna beach" as a popular show. I remember a time when mabeuf would snort pixie sticks, shotgun beers, break faces at futbol games, and grow his hair wild like the pre-colonial African landscape.
Now it seems that the only thing growing long and free is his wanton abuse of his now shriveled balls. I agree with Dru, reparations need to be paid. Here are just a few ideas:

-sell the scion and get a pick-up truck that gets no better than 6 miles to the gallon
-he must at all times wear a shirt that has the logo of a kickass band (said band cannot have a girl lead (obviously))
-he must play any Mortal Kombat game within 30 days, and then within the following 7 days must preform at least seven (7) aerial kicks
-he must wingman for Donny within the next year
-he must infiltrate and assassinate all five members of the new kids on the block while they are on their upcoming reunion tour
-we all get 40 acres and a mule

forever your bro,
-sean "bd" bibby

p.s. a fellow co-worker contributed the new kids on the block line and the following conversation happened: "
christine: are there five new kids on the block? i don't really know for sure.
me: i dunno. find out. i don't want to look like a dumbass

christine: i bet max would know for sure!"
Burn.

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max to us (3:28pm):
I got a haircut yesterday and I now look like Gordon Freeman.

That has to win me some points back.
"Who is Gordon Freeman" All of the people i work with

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brian to us (9:24pm):
at least you could have said, uh hey guys i was like watching monster truck rally thing and uh i was holding my dick and i think i may not like alkaline trio anymore. with thta staement i can derive you at least have a penis. everythign else alludes to total levels of gayosity past what my gaydar can detect.

ps monster trucks = girly show ie. gilmore girls, full house, designing women, anything on the TLC channel.
PPS gilmore girls = many hours andrew COULD have gone pump shotty

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max to us(8:00am):
There is no way in hell that Brian was not watching this at the same moment I was. No fucking way that we were not having a 'look at the north star' type of moment while yearning to be by one another's side.