i miss video games. here's why:

Command & Conquer
This was the first time in my life I cared about a story more than I cared about myself*, or my own story. I hated NOD and Kane. I knew that my mammoth tanks were the ultimate force on the battlefield and I trusted them more than I trusted most things in real life. Spin me around 1000 times and I can still beat the first 3 levels without losing a single rifleman. In subsequent releases they've tried to capture the same feeling, and I think they might have done it a few times, but I had grown older, like Wendy in the Hook movie, I had grown older. You can't fall in love for the first time again. I already cleared that level. I already got that one Tetris piece I needed to drop.

Heavy Gear
HG inspired me more than any other game ever has. I used to draw gears on my school books and my homework. It was a great game. Live action cut scenes and badass mechs? Sign me up. I played the hell out of this non-linear and customizable game.

Half-Life
Where to start? This game defined a generation (and is still doing so) of games. It did for games what The Dark Knight Returns did for comics. It made them adult. Edgy. More than a stupid little spaceship blowing up asteroids. This game put you in the role of Gordon Freeman. Gordon. My friend. My alter ego. Gordon and I were a team, I would protect his every ounce of health because it was my own health. Sometimes I would end the game with 95% of my ammo. Why? Because I didn't want to waste it. I said earlier that you can't fall in love for the first time again, but HL is a different kind of love. Not so ephemeral. Permanent and epic. That game made me laugh, cry and tremor.

Half-Life 2
When your favorite band comes out with a shitty 3rd album, that hurts. But when they deliver the goods, that is a special feeling. You know that you've put your heart soul and trust into a group of people that can be trusted with it. This game invented new technology. And the story??? Really? The story is more than my being is. Ask Andrew. I had a $100 bill on my wall for months. MONTHS! Just waiting for the delays and bullshit to be over so I could go and buy this game at midnight. And I did. With rabbit and Sam. Then I took the game home and played it for 24 hours straight, skipping work and class. Then I passed out only to wake up and start again. Ask Andrew.

Team Fortress (HL mod)
This was big. I remember like it was yesterday the night that Hart and I finally got to play Team Fortress online for the first time. It was free. It was against other people. Online. *WE* were playing online against other people. Hart's mom had a 28k modem and that was faster than my Dad's 26.4k. It was amazing. I'll never forget that.

CS** (HL mod)
I played Counter-Strike professionally while I dabbled in college. cs_assault is my favorite map. Including real maps. If you don't think I have the balls to come off the bridge and into the big door, then you're about to get some lead in your head.

Final Fantasy Tactics
I spent at least two summers in high school playing this game. My friends were experimenting with girls and beer, but I was playing FF Tactics***. I don't know for how long, because it stopped counting your hours at 99:99:59. So that's 100 hours. And god knows how many saved games I had. This game really formed my near-superhuman ability to save my games. I can save hit the quicksave button faster than I can remember how old I am.

Neverwinter Nights
The frozen north.
"RAGE OF THE RED TIGER!!"

Warhammer Age of Reckoning (WAR)
I tried other MMOs before, but nothing grabbed me like WAR. It was adult and it was badfuckingass. It was also big because I was trying to save money, and not go out, so I just paid $12 a month and didn't need to leave my room. This game saved me so much money, not to mention that it is to WoW as Zima is to a four horseman. They'll both do the job, but one of them will take your wallet after you pass out. And Zima is for little kids. Besides, my Chosen was fucking badass. I could tank that bitch-ass boss all day long. This MMO made me really care about titles, armor, guilds and all that. Not to mention that I got to play it with my broseph, drujo.

Watching video games
I love to watch people play video games. It relaxes me. Hart and Dru could never get why I felt like that, but they're bros, so they went along with it. Happy, no doubt, to have the controller in their hands. Watching Dru play CS was my college education. Watching Hart play Twisted Metal or Zelda, or Resident Evil was my adolescence. I miss that a lot. Almost as much as I miss being Gordon.

Runners Up:
Empire: Total War (one turn could last an hour)
Killer Instinct (first console game I owned)
Goldeneye 007 (duh)
Chuck Rock (that's for you Josephine)
Deus Ex ("I spill my drink!")

....what did i miss?... something for sure....


Video games are one of the things I really miss. My life in the states always had video games. Here it is a lot harder. They are expensive, and downloading games is almost out of the question. Not to mention that I don't have my desktop computer to run them on. My desktop machine was always my first priority. I didn't want a car, I didn't want to save my baby pictures from a fire, it was always time and money that could go into my next video card. My mac laptop will cut your face off, but it can't run some things at all, and other just not good enough. But, it is just temporary. I'll be a gamer for life. Plenty of time to run through all these games a few more times.




*that's not actually true. The Tick comic books deserve at least a tie in that role. I realized that my sense of humor was being forged with every new comic I read.
**this link and the team fortress one are kinda vague. the versions of these games that i played are so out of date that an advanced google search is required, and I'll leave that to you. i just wanted to show an overview.
*** worth it!