Tandem Live Blogging - Seinfeld Season 6 The Gymanst

This blog post brought to you by Sean and JT straight from Dusseldorf! We watched an episode of Seinfeld (a great one) and made yokes. MST3k style. For more hilarious live blogs, check out JT's blog JTsGermanAdventure

JT 0:00: Is it just me, or is Jerry's voice more annoying during the stand-up bits?

Sean 0:45 - I'm nervous. Jerry and I made the same joke at the same time about George's stupidity, only he did it outloud and on national TV.

JT 1:00 - "if i could talk to the mothers and have sex with the daughters, I'd have something going." George is clearly an inspiration for Timberlake and Samberg.

Sean 2:00 - "there's always a price to pay for just a sexual dalliance" "Jerry, you should pay that price." I've paid that price.

Sean 2:40 - How many times do I think about putting my shirt back on when leaving the bathroom? so many.

JT - 3:00 a coworker of mine had a kidney stone. His wasn't as funny as Kramer's.

3:10 - "Knowing you is like going into the jungle -- I never know what I'll find next, and I'm real scared."

Sean 3:30 - Has Elaine ever had a boss with non-white hair? Have any of them?

Sean 4:00 - Kramer is the kind of person you know and tell them things like "this is why we don't have nice things" he's just rifling through these fancy paintings

JT 5:00 - One of the key improvements of later seasons was that George's girlfriends grew ludicrously hot.

JT 5:30 "Are you and your family close?" "Very close, almost painfully close" I almost never refer to my family that way.
Sean 6:10 - Gerorge see's the eclair in the trash and eats it. After being in Africa for 4 months, I would eat it too.
JT - Who could pass up a free eclair? It's on top of the magazine, so no problem.

JT 7:20 - "So... Ceauşescu. He must've been some dictator." I like to say this on dates that aren't going well.

JT 9:25 - It's sad how bottled water used to be a niche product, not an obsession in the usa. I hate bottled water.

Sean 10:00 - George, the eclair wasn't "hovering" in the garbage. It doesn't have a jetpack or anything.

JT 11:00 - I'm glad I'm no longer in the position to have to consider people's feelings.

Sean 11:00 - When has Jerry ever considered people's feelings?

Sean 12:10 - Why does Jerry continue to talk to women in his car? It never ever works out for him.

JT 12:50 - "The magical world of sensual delights that most men dare not dream of" - that's just marketing nonsense from Cosmo. The magazine, not Kramer.

JT 13:50 - The most outdated line in the entire series? "How long do I have to put in, now that..." "3 weeks". I say "an SMS"
Sean 13:50 - "2 (possibly non-consecutive) weekends"

Sean 13:40 - Look at that Diet Coke can. Those are the cans my grandma bought.
JT 13:45 - Your grandma drank Diet Coke?

Sean 14:10 - Laugh track. Classic.

JT 15:10 - Jerry's reactions to George/Biff flailing on the phone is money. "Strike two!"

Sean 15:40 - Do we ever see George coming out of the bathroom in later episodes/seasons buttoning up his shirt? I mean, come on. continuity!

Sean 16:00 - I'm glad we're not live blogging our spoken commentary. Just juvenile.
JT 16:05 - Sean means "I'm glad we're not live blogging JT's spoken commentary. Just juvenile."

JT 16:30 - The first time I saw this, i thought the riding outfit was to set up the lame joke, "I haven't been on Jenny in 3 days". Oh no.

Sean 17:15 - Jerry's wearing a suede jacket. Didn't he learn that lesson earlier?

JT 1730 - I, too, blame elephants for all the ills of society

JT 1900 - Is this before or after the jujyfruits? Either way, Elaine would much rather lose a job/boyfriend than engage in mild confrontation.

Sean 19:00 - George says maybe he'll go upstairs "just to use the bathroom". JT looks at me and says that is a money move. "It's worked several times for me," he says. "Just say you have to use the bathroom and next thing you know, you're makin' out and- BOOM you're in!"

Sean 20:40 - The whole reason we're watching this ep is for the classic demeanor george has when he walks out of the shitter with his shirt off. Delivery. Pure delivery.

JT 21:30 - The Mr. Pitt as Hitler bit is much funnier since it wouldn't be allowed in Germany.

JT 22:30 - 16 years ago! That's not recent.


*** Bonus commentary on the deleted scenes***
Sean - I see why these were deleted.

a treatise on the tubers of sub-saharan africa

i'm making stew! right now though it doesn't smell/taste or look that good. the wine must have to cook down. and i probably over did it with the dog poop. but let's not get ahead of ourselves. proper stew isn't worth a damn until the day after anyway.*

staying with the JT machine has been great. all the comforts of home plus good beer.
yesterday we took a trip on the train that goes south down the Rhine. it was great. castles everywhere and lots of loud american talking on the train. there are a lot of white people here. have i mentioned that?

time passes slowly up here in the mountains.

most people know that i'm not going to miss another new years in america, but i'm still not sure when i'll be home. and if i was, i wouldn't tell you would i? just make sure that you are prepared for 2011 with plenty of Sean action.

may you always do for others and let others do for you

now that i've spent some time in Europe, South America (and the stupid Antarctic) is the only continent i haven't been to. and i've been to Mexico. that's basically the same right? that'll get fixed for the 2014 World Cup. my plan for that is to fly down to Patagonia** and grove on up to Brazil for the games. who's with me? good.

let me die in my footsteps before i go down under the ground

i haven't been taking a lot of photos in Germany. stuff here just doesn't wow me like in Africa. buildings and such are cool, but they don't make you think "holy crapola- i need a picture of that b/c i'll never be here again".
maybe that's wrong, but i know i'll be back to Europe. its just too easy. what isn't easy is thinking about going back to America. i bet there are a lot of white people there. weird.

when i get home i'm going to post a photo everyday-ish and write a little story/background about it. so i hope these last few months of non-blogging is made up for by that.


*update- it looks a lot better now!
**also a good place to venture off into the Artic waters of the southern pole!

lots of things

most importantly, i just got home from hanging out with JT for the first time since october 06.
he's living the life in the dorf, in case you are incapable of reading sidebars.

lots of things came from tonight:

1. he listened to my request for a Batman comic in german. i am now the proud owner of "Der Batman". pictures/scans to come soon, i fucking promise. I'm sure he had dozens of people request things from Germany, and to be thought of is very nice.
2. i'm so jealous. the things he talks about remind me of my best times. just a normal day to him is equivalent to a vacation to me. i'm sure that the newness wears off, but i would like to live my vacations for my regular days, even if they don't seem so spectacular to him after over a year of living there.
3. everyone has down times, even people that you maybe have on a pedestal. and maybe they even deserve the pedestal. but they also get shitty times. no one's life is perfect....so can i be honest with myself in wanting a perfect life? it doesn't make sense to want what you can't have.
4. number 3 makes me want to keep in better touch with a lot of people. i would love to be in more efficient contact with lots of people. not much is keeping me from that. if a loved one has a problem, it shouldn't matter that they are in a different time zone. it shouldn't be from june to now that i hear about the details. sean, you need to be more proactive in many, if not all, of your friendships.
5. i still want to live in germany. see all of the above. (and below)
6. i finally bought JT a few beers. he bought me tournament fees, dinners, beers, gas, hotels, jerseys, and so much more. the last time he was in Nac. i didn't have a full time job. now i make a reasonable salary. i can buy him a few beers. that means a lot to me. for anyone on the internet that decides to read this. just know that i became more of a man today.
7. i'm going to bed. lots more swirling in my head. from all angles. hopefully some of it will fit into type.



p.s. ok, there were three words i said to myself when i was hanging out with JT, listening to his stories. two i don't remember and will probably not remember. but they were in a similar vein as 'colloquial' . JT's stories were so funny and continental(??) i guess that the best way to say that.
our stories were so boring. about new fast food restaurants and small town gossip. he talked about Morocco and women and beer and things that i think i care more about than the new wingstop in nac.

setting in

It really hasn't set in yet. I am still recalling the various plays and the different things we did as a crowd.
I can't wait for the pictures to start piling up. There were so many people that congratulated me on my playoff beard. I really feel like I had the best beard in the whole stadium. Not to mention the people in DC and at the airport that recognized me when I wasn't wearing my jumpsuit. I'll post a gallery of pictures tomorrow when everyone has a chance to post their pics.
Anyway, it is with mixed feelings that I report that I have shaved over 1/2 of my beard off. Not like, one side or anything, but over half the length. It is nice to see my chin/face again.


In other news I am reading a great book lent to me by a friend. The book is very premium. I loaned her some of my core books. Batman: Year One and The Dark Knight Returns are more than just comics to me. They are epic sagas. Many people that are not my friends are not helping their cause with not reading these books.

I was talking to a German Dynamo fan this weekend and he is excited that I'm going to Germany. Needless to say, I would eat many pieces of humble pie if he would hook me up with his friends and family over there.

Pictures tomorrow I promise.